Tales of ASHANTY

Day 1 Cartagena to Panama, Nov 09 10:40 With Kate and Jim at the helm, autopilot is struggling to find the wind. We have lost speed and good men this morning! Our Captain is below deck, exhausted from the battle that rages between the Ashanty and the squall. 11:05 We are in the epicentre of the squal now, heading due west with a very strong north-easterly wind. Pirates are ttacking us from the east. But we should have no problem out running them. We are fucking flying. Autopilot knows what she’s doing. 11:17 The damnation of the storm continues to burder our passage. I write with a foul hand as winds carry the muscles of Zeus and the waves resemble the pillars of Hercules only topping like ruthless dominoes. I have prayed to all the gods craving their blessing…

Day 2

02:24

We have lost power in the main engine room and are flying by the seat of our pants on just the main sail. A lone pirate vessel has entered ‘guard zone 1’, and at present speed, with no good eyes at the mast head, it is likely they will be upon us soon…

05:51

As the sun penetrates the horizon we can now pack up our shit and bounce. Repairs are made to engine number 1, but no one cars as we are in no haste and the pirates give us a wide berth when they see we ae followed by ZEUS himself. Cunts.

Possible reasons for engine failure:
1. Dirt, or small object in the fuel line

2. Clogged filters

3. Fuel incection pump busted

4. The recession

Last night (Day 3 written by Jim))

The rain! It was the signal. No command could be heard in the uproar, no gesture seen in the dense fog that billowed over the distressed vessel, but a war-like, wild chorus of yell rose from the crew of the saturated Ashanty, as I poured rum over the deck and issued my orders. After a while the crew took head and began pumping the engine room. The storm was like no other ever experienced by this crew. Henry was the man who kept his head when he knew true, that all was lost.
And now the morning after the night before, the dawn which come at pace, the night fled before it, the light has turned a silvery grey, the laggon gleaming softly as a sheet of polished pewter, all is again well.

 

Day 3

05:05

Things Jim forgot to mention about last night

1. He kept really drunk on rum and kept pissing off the captain
2. He had to get put to bed before his night shift had even started because he was too drunk.
3. Shane had to do his nightshift
4. He became abusive and brutally attacked Kate just because she was trying to look after him.
5. He cause the recession and told everybody about it.
6. keeps trying to say he ‘worked’ other peoples shift

 

Day 4

“Your Goulash makes me wet”. The desperate ax of a low dirty maiden shoes only fear is to not be abandoned by Captain Henry! For she knows that she has been ravished too many times by too many Sea Captains. As we all know the ex-whores who live and worked this way rarely live beyond a week, therever her only hope is to make captain Henry and his sea captain sea monsters proud of their goulash, which, incidently  means ‘penis’ in nautical terms.

 

The night was spent aboard ‘Fritz the Cat’ with captain Fritz, who is rumoured to have two sea captains sea monsters. The jolly sailors drunk much rum, and humoured the whores, who where happy to be without payment with only the promise of free rum.

I spent some of my time lending my thoughs to odds and the probability of our survival on this long and dangerous voyage.

It is a wonder that we survived this odyssey.

 

We love you HENRY. Thanks for a good trip!

 

Sean; Amy; Katie; Jim